Kaiya Rae’s Story

Kaiya Rae, the most beautiful baby girl in the whole world (yeah, I’m bit biased here) came into our lives on June 17th, 2010.  Wait.  That’s wrong.  She came into our lives in September, 2009.  She was born June 17th, 2010.  She was a part of our lives the minute we knew she was growing inside me.  I always knew she was a girl.  I could feel it.  Kaiya Rae had a name, long before she was even “a twinkle.”  More than 2 years before conceiving Kaiya, we decided our first baby girl’s name would be Kaiya Rae.  Don’t worry, you will learn more about her name in a future post.  She was a happy, loving, smiley, social and just overall wonderful baby.  Two parents could not ask for a better baby.  She was happy 95% of the time.  She started sleeping 8-10hrs a night starting at 6 weeks old!  She was easy to entertain.  She LOVED bath time.  Our only struggle with her?  Getting her to take a bottle!  What can I say, she loved her Momma!  For 5 amazing months she would be the light in our lives, our little everything.  She would be called “perfect” and “awesome” by her pediatrician at her well baby visits.  One day, most certainly the worst day of my life, Karl called me at work from his cell phone.  “That’s strange” I thought, “he’s at work, why is he using his cell?”  The conversation went a little like this:

Karl: Do you have a patient in your office?

Me: No, I don’t

Karl: Are you sitting down?

Me: (a little worried..) Yeah, why?

Karl: Lilly just called me.

Me: Ok, what’s up?

Karl: Kaiya stopped breathing.

Fast forward to me driving toward the hospital she was being rushed to, hyperventilating, dizzy, and unable to feel my hands.  I’m not sure how I made it there alive, but Thank You, GOD for getting me there.

When we arrived we were told our baby was not breathing and had no heart beat.  How do you react to hearing this?  Scream, collapse to the floor, cry? All of the above.  We were brought to see her where they were still doing CPR and “bagging” her for oxygen.  I’m not sure how long I was in that room for, but I held her hand, I talked to her, I talked to God.  Her heart started beating again, he body turned pink again.  Now, I’m a smart person, I knew she wouldn’t just “be ok” after all that time with out breathing and her heart not beating.  I did think that she was going to be alive though.  The next 24hrs she would be kept alive by lots of medication, and a machine breathing for her.  The doctors would search for a cause, and none would be found.  We would pray for a miracle, and one wouldn’t come.  On November 17th, 2010 at 5:15pm we turned off the machines keeping our brain dead baby alive.  Our wonderful, beautiful, “perfect”, “awesome” baby was gone.  She had been completely healthy.  There is absolutely no known reason for her death.  Nothing to explain why she stopped breathing that day.  Sudden Infant Death Syndrome had now take her spot in our lives.

This brings us here, to this blog.  Which I should have started a couple months ago, but alas, I am here now.  Here you will find the story of my life as a SIDS mom.  Welcome to my blog.

Love,

Kaiya Rae’s Momma

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. A
    Jan 24, 2011 @ 17:20:48

    There is no appropriate comment for me to leave here, I know there are no words for me to say. But, I am reading/listening and by doing so, hope to honor Kaiya Rae & support you. Please keep sharing when you can.

    Reply

  2. Becky_mommyof4
    Jan 24, 2011 @ 17:23:31

    You are the most amazing woman i have ever talked too granted on JM we never met in real life but you and Kaiya Rae have touched all of our lives I could only imagine what you have and are going threw but unless its happened none of us will never know. just know that since are babies are only a week apart every time i look at Faith i think of you and your amazing little girl and i think i always will you both will hold a spot in my heart

    Reply

  3. Luba
    Jan 26, 2011 @ 01:30:44

    You are a very strong momma, Hello im lillys cousen, when i hurd of ur tragedy i was so sad for any mom or family that would have to go throw that. I have two daughter of my oun my yongest just tuned 6mths and i cant amagen the pain you and ur family are going throw. Only help from God, family and friends is it posibble. My God confurt you and ur husbend and bring joy back in ur lifes, ill be kieeping you im my prayers. Your little angel is now sitting on Jesas lap.

    Reply

  4. Sarah
    Feb 05, 2011 @ 18:41:44

    The first time when I saw Kaiya, I thought, “What a beautiful baby!” I am Lilly’s sister and visited her while she was babysitting Kaiya. I would just like to say, may it bring you peace to know that Kiaya is with our Lord.

    John 14:27
    Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you asthe world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

    Reply

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