The mind of a child

 We spent the weekend surrounded by babies and children.  We went home to meet my new niece, Charlotte, perhaps my new favorite person in the world and spent tons of time with her and her big sister Annabelle (my other favorite!) all day on Saturday.  We also had a couple other little visitors too, baby Adam, just one month younger than Kaiya, and Salvatore, a little over a year old.  So all together on Saturday the house was filled with babies from 2 months to 18 months in age.  I loved every minute of it, and couldn’t have been happier, if not for that fact that my baby girl was missing from this mix.  This day full of babies was then followed by a visit with our other nieces on Karl’s side of the family, ages 2 and 4. 

The mind of a child is a beautiful thing.  It amazes me that my 18 month old niece knows Kaiya by name and can point her out in pictures.  She calls her “baby Kai-kee”.  It is the cutest thing in the world.  She talks to Kaiya when she plays, and called baby Adam, “baby Kai-kee” by accident on more than one occasion.  Afterall, they are almost the same age, and she has only seen Kaiya in real life twice.  At one point she was looking away from us all into a sea of toys and exclaimed “uh-oh baby Kai-kee!”  What did she see in the sea of toys that was invisible to the rest of us?  Perhaps she was trying to say “baby crying,” as it sounds very similar in 18 month old speech.  Although, none of the babies were crying at the time. Or perhaps she saw something the rest of us cannot.  Was my sweet Kaiya there, playing amongst the babies?  I’d like to believe she was. 

The following evening, our 4-year-old niece was playing with her Auntie’s old Little People play sets in my inlaws’ house.  She had picked out a little person to represent each of us, and some other family members, and two neighbor friends.  She was then looking for one more, and told me she needed “that little girl one of these.”  I found one last little person, a baby sized one with little sprigs of red hair.  I thought to myself that this one could be Kaiya, but didn’t know what she wanted and simply said “this is the only one we have left” and handed it to her.  She exchanged it for the little girl one representing her toddler neighbor, and exclaimed “this one can be Kaiya!” referring to the young girl sized one, with lots of reddish-brown hair.  She promptly set the Kaiya doll next the Aunt Andrea doll, telling me she should be with her mommy and daddy.  I agree, sweet girl, she should be with us!  She then changed her mind and placed her in a swing looking contraption.  She proclaimed “Kaiya will go here, because she is a big girl now.”  Now, she is only 4, but she does have a baby sister, other baby cousins, and neighbors.  She understands the concept of babies being little and taking a while to grow up.  The last and only time she saw Kaiya in person, Kaiya was an infant.  So what, then, made her think that Kaiya, who would only be 9 months old now, should be a big girl.  All other adults and children were age matched in her little people rendition of her family and friends.  Karl thinks maybe she views Kaiya as a big girl, because only “big people” go to Heaven in her mind. Though I think, perhaps, she knows something we don’t. 

I love that my nieces know and love Kaiya.  I love that they talk about and play with her as if she is there with us, always.  And I love that, perhaps, she is with us.  I like to think of her playing with her cousins and watching over them while they sleep.   She is our guardian angel, always.

She will always be missing, but never, ever forgotten. 

We love you Kaiya Rae, to the moon and back. Forever.  Always. 


Kaiya Rae’s Momma


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