Missing you

Dear Kaiya Rae,
I miss you so much my angel. I can’t get you off my mind this week. Not that I ever stop thinking of you anyway. Not that I ever want to. Some days are just so much harder than others. I just want to hold you so bad, and I wonder who is holding you now? Are you a baby, or did God give you a body to match your wise spirit? Do you still love music? Do the angels have better voices than your momma? Oh how I wish you could answer me. Oh how I wish I could feel you in my arms. I almost forget what you feel like, what you smell like. I tell you I love you every day. Do you hear me? I think you do, but I wish you could tell me for sure. Everything I do is for you baby girl. In honor of you, for you, in memory of you. Not a day goes by that I don’t think “What can I do to honor my sweet baby today?” I hope I am doing all the right things. I hope you see how hard I try. Sometimes I am angry because you are gone. Please know I am never angry with you. When I scream and I yell, it is because I miss you so bad that it hurts. It is the only way to get the pain out. I am not angry with you. I am not angry with God. I am just, angry. I try to find happiness in each day. I know you try to send me some when I am feeling down. I just want you to know how much you have changed my life. You mean more to me than I could have ever imagined. I love you so.

Love Always,
Momma

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