Here you will find the heart of a woman, grieving the loss of her beautiful baby girl, poured out into writing.  You will see everyday posts about my daily life, poems, songs and stories about Kaiya Rae, my precious angel baby.  You may also find links, research, and information about SIDS.  The awful demon that stole my baby’s life.


13 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Becky
    Jan 25, 2011 @ 19:47:03

    You continue to amaze me and thank you for sharing Kaiya’s story and sharing yourself. Very touching.


  2. amourningmom
    Feb 07, 2011 @ 22:29:51

    I am so sorry for your loss. I wish I knew of words to ease your pain. Thank you for sharing Kaiya’s story. I know you wrote about the meaning of names. I have been trying to figure out the numbers (Jake was born on 8/14, 14 weeks early, he was 2 lbs. 14 oz. and 14 inches long). Kaiya died on 11/17 – which would have been Sawyer’s first birthday. I don’t know what any of it means and maybe it does not mean anything at all. Either way I hope that Kaiya has found Jake & Sawyer and they are having a cosmic playdate. Take care.


  3. adina
    Jun 09, 2011 @ 14:06:43

    I love your blog. My daughter Talya was born six days after Kaiya, and died of SIDS five weeks later. You, Kaiya, and your entire family are in my hearts and prayers.


  4. Tami A
    Sep 07, 2011 @ 21:27:46

    I’m sorry for your loss. I found your blog because we have a mutual friend and I kept reading because I too have an angel in heaven. My little boy was born with a genetic disorder we knew nothing about until he was born. He was with us for almost two years. Very difficult years but I am so grateful we enjoyed him that long. He had many difficult challenges but he had the biggest and sweetest smile. He died in his sleep 11 days before his second birthday. This was 4 years ago and not a day passes that I don’t think about him and miss him so much. I know the pain you’re going through. You are right, we are different persons now, the moms we were when our babies were with us are not the same moms now. It’s a long journey, but I’m so glad to see you have lots of support around you. I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone in this pain. Many hugs from California.


  5. Melissa McConnell
    Sep 15, 2011 @ 14:18:05

    I am sorry for your loss. I was reading your story off of the “First Candles” website. Your daughter and mine have very similar stories and dates! My daughter born 6/7/10 passed away 11/8/10 (5) months old. My daughter, Autumn also stopped breathing at daycare. I just hate hearing about other parents that have gone through the same thing that I have / am. You are very strong for sharing your blog with everyone. Again, I am truly sorry for your loss and what you as a Mother is going through. If you would like to please feel free to email me at melissa.mcconnell38@gmail.com



  6. Melissa McConnell
    Sep 15, 2011 @ 14:20:00

    Sorry, typo.. My daughter passed away 11/18/10


  7. Lori Rapoff
    Nov 06, 2011 @ 17:04:51

    Hi, I started reading your blog today. We stayed in the same room as you guys did last weekend while at the amazing Faith’s Lodge. We lost our sweet Bo Michael at 27 days to SIDS. 4/22/11-5/18/11. I’ve been blogging too and I think it has helped so much. Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you. Congrats on your baby news- it gives us hope today.


    • Grieving.Momma
      Nov 07, 2011 @ 08:51:39

      It is wonderful to know that my story inspires others. You are the second family that has contacted me after staying the same room at Faith’s Lodge. It is a wonderful place and I am glad you found my story too. Please stop back any time, I write this blog to share Kaiya’s life and inspire others. Thanks for the kind words!


  8. lili varon
    Dec 06, 2011 @ 03:01:02

    thanks for writing this blog. i felt alone since my son has passed away oct 14, 2011. things you have written are exactly how i feel. i know now i’m not going crazy thinking all these things and feeling what i’m feeling. i’m soooo sorry for you loss, your baby girl was beautiful.


  9. Elizabeth
    Jan 03, 2012 @ 14:41:25

    We stayed this past week in the same room at Faith’s Lodge. Our baby died during birth but was healthy and strong until the trajedy so we were shocked when they couldn’t revive her. I wish you the best, grieving momma, and your new little one gives me hope too. I’m trying, and sad today, missing our baby so much. I’m making her room anyway because we weren’t quite done when she was born. I just hope that it will be for our little girl again some day soon. Everyone here, you are all in my prayers for peace and joy in your lives.


  10. Ashley
    Feb 03, 2012 @ 19:40:33

    I found your blog on JM and its really hard to read. I am so sorry for your loss. I will hug my son a little tighter tonight. My prayers are with you and I hope the rest of your pregnancy is healthy and safe. *hugs*


  11. grAngie
    May 06, 2012 @ 09:17:50

    Thanks for your blog. I found you through first candle.org. Im so sorry you’ve had to experience your loss. My teenage daughter lost her 14 month old daughter, Aubrey, February 5, 2012. There’s still no official cause of death. It’s been hard.


  12. Nathalie Himmelrich
    Dec 03, 2012 @ 01:52:51

    Amazing again… Just reading the name of your beautiful Kaiya Rae, precious angel baby… My angel baby’s name is Amya (spoken Amaya) and her twin sister’s name is Ananda Mae.
    If you’d like to share Kaiya Rae’s story, please have a look here: http://remembereverylittlesoul.wordpress.com/
    It’s just my latest creative intuitive outlet as a grieving mum.
    All Love, Nathalie


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